Depression

they don't understand...

From when I was a little girl, I've dealt with the debilitating effects of depression.  It has been difficult in dealing with and living with, but what is the other option.  There isn't any.  So you go day by day hoping that you will have even a glimpse of happiness even if it lasts for only an hour.  Just the momentary escape from what you've been feeling can be so uplifting.  It's only fault is that it doesn't last for someone who has been suffering for such a long period of time. 

No one understands.  You might confide in your friends and family, but they don't understand if they haven't been there.  This is not your typical I don't feel good day.  This is your typical I can't get off the couch or out of bed dreary day that feels like a dark cloud is hovering over you.  Your sad, your heart is black, and finding your way out of this madness is debilitating.  I've heard too many times "I know how you feel", but they don't.  "I've been there", but they haven't.  I'm envious of people who don't suffer and have never suffered from depression.  I look at them as though they are clean, without defects, without the sadness.  They call you to check in and you either don't answer the phone, or you do and yes them to death until you can finally get off the phone and escape into your hole.  They don't understand. 

My only hope for myself and for those of you reading who suffer as I do, is to have better days and know that living for those days is worth it.  Because it is, and I think we all know that.  Life is a gift, meant to be enjoyed and lived.  Just know your not alone, because your not.

I would love to hear some comments and your thoughts...